1 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,998 Attention, everyone, mail call! 2 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,230 Meg, Teen People, Chris, Amazing Spider-Man... 3 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,756 Lois, Redbook, World War II Army Guy, a letter from your gal. 4 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,234 [ALL CHATTERING AND CHUCKLING] 5 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,960 STEWIE: Open that one up, buddy. - All right, at ease, at ease. 6 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,475 "Dear Willy, it's been lonesome since you've been away." 7 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,153 You hear that, fellas? She misses me! 8 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:32,679 [CHATTERING AND CHUCKLING] 9 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:33,829 STEWIE: You're all wet. 10 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,475 Hey, check this out. We got invited to a party. 11 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:41,633 "Peter Griffin, you and your family are cordially invited to a gala dinner... 12 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,870 in your honor at Rocky Point Manor." 13 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,508 - What? What are they honoring you for? - Who cares? 14 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,989 It's for the whole weekend. And it's free. 15 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,435 - Well, who's the invitation from? - It doesn't say. 16 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,194 You're not gonna go, are you? It's clearly some kind of scam. 17 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,669 Then maybe we just go, and you go to the kennel. 18 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,400 Not the kennel. Last time you left me there for an hour. 19 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,551 Or 10 years, I don't know. There's no clock. 20 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,631 You stink when you come out of there. 21 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,995 We're going and that's that. I'm gonna "rsvp." 22 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,310 - You mean RSVP? - Hillary Clinton's the VP. 23 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:09,879 No, she's Secretary of State. 24 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,029 - Rhode Island. - What? 25 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,589 - I don't understand what's happening. - We're going to a party. 26 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:14,909 Yay! 27 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,314 [ORCHESTRAL "FAMILY GUY" THEME PLAYING] 28 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,918 Wait, who the hell lives all the way out here, huh? 29 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,991 Lois? Oh, you're asleep. 30 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,355 Kids? Anybody awake? 31 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,318 Just me? Huh? Oh. I'm the only one awake. 32 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:14,913 Just me. Peter. 33 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,399 I can do whatever I want. 34 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,551 Maybe I'll try out some of my funny voices. 35 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,793 [IN COWBO Y VOICE] Hi, partner, I'm a cattle rustler. I rustle cattle. 36 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,679 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, well, that's turning out good. Gotta use that. 37 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,672 [IN COCKNEY ACCENT] Oi. Oi, oi, mate. 38 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,150 It sure is not so very nice in this part of London. 39 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,312 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, wow, that one's really good. 40 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,232 Go ahead and keep that one to myself. 41 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:40,029 How bad would I kick myself if someone ran off and made millions with that? 42 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:41,189 Hey, uh... 43 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,430 [IN HIGH-PITCH VOICE] Hey, hey, everybody. Hey, there. 44 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,511 [IN NORMAL VOICE] What's this one? Who's this guy? 45 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:46,874 [IN HIGH-PITCH VOICE] Who am I? 46 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,315 I need a character. I need a back story. 47 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,438 I'm a... I'm a pie-man. I sell pies. 48 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,637 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, man, see, this is why I wish I had more time to myself. 49 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,995 I know these are good because I'm my toughest critic. 50 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,912 Dad, are we almost there? 51 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,311 Shit. Uh, yeah. According to the map, we're pretty close. 52 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:05,709 [GASPS] 53 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,871 Peter, look. 54 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,071 [OMINOUS ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING] 55 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:03,674 My God, this is absolutely beautiful. 56 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:07,230 I bet Jeff Probst has a house like this. 57 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,271 - Joe? - Peter? 58 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:12,793 What are you guys doing here? 59 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,190 We got an invitation to a dinner in my honor. 60 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,352 I assumed it was for all those arrests I made last month. 61 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,590 Weird. My invitation said it was in my honor. 62 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,149 I assumed it was for being able to fart the alphabet. 63 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,276 Which I almost did till I pooped on the S. 64 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,910 Ah, well. Everybody on the bus was upset long before that anyway. 65 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,677 What the...? 66 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,509 Derek and Jillian? 67 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,194 - Wow. Hi, Brian. - Hey, kiddo. 68 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,794 - What are you guys doing here? - I got a card... 69 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,520 that says they're throwing a dinner in my honor. 70 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,672 What the hell's going on here? Everybody got the same invitation? 71 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:49,673 Muriel, if you're not gonna eat your half of the cheeseburger... 72 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:52,434 I'll see if they have a freezer so I can keep it nice. 73 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,239 I'm gonna walk around, I think my vagina's asleep. 74 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,873 Oh. Hey. Uh... 75 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,917 Didn't think I'd see anyone I knew here. 76 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,229 This, uh... 77 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,391 - This is Stephanie. - Hi, everybody. 78 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,916 Oh, my gosh! I never thought I'd meet Glenn's friends. 79 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:18,073 Yeah, I figured, why not? You know, you and I see each other from time to time. 80 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:22,199 Oh, my God, we, like, never see each other. This guy. 81 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,478 You, like, disappear for a month, and then you call me? So silly. 82 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,551 You're lucky I like you so much. 83 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,234 Okay, why don't you go ahead and take the bags in? 84 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,553 Wow, it looks like the whole town got invited. 85 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,317 [ICE CREAM TRUCK JINGLE PLAYS] 86 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:10,676 Mr. Peter, Mr. Joe, Mr. Bonnie. 87 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,671 She doesn't know what "Mr." means. 88 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,559 Mr. Mort. Mr. Muriel. 89 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,551 Mayor West Mister. 90 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,073 Oh, my God, seriously. 91 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,959 I know what you're all thinking, but fear not, citizens. 92 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,998 While I'm enjoying myself at this festive get-together... 93 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:30,029 I've left the city in the capable hands of the Mayor-O-Matic 5000. 94 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,077 WEST [ON MACHINE]: Take a letter, hold my calls. 95 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,310 That's a matter for the Parks Department. 96 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:39,190 If you will all please follow me to third floor, I show you to your rooms. 97 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,352 You are all expected for dinner at 8:00. 98 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:46,274 STEPHANIE: Oh, good. I'm starved. QUAGMIRE: Settle down, will you? 99 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,351 [OMINOUS ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING] 100 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,469 None of this makes any sense. 101 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,029 Everyone got invitations from an anonymous source... 102 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,317 for a dinner in their honor, when that's clearly not the case. 103 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,311 Now we're here, where the hell's our host? 104 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,835 At least you all had evening wear provided for you. 105 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,629 I thought this was a lawn party. I don't have one pair of long pants. 106 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,189 It's kind of awkward seeing Jillian here with Derek. 107 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,952 Wonder if she's thinking about me. 108 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,270 I don't know. Are you a pony or the color blue? 109 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,234 [LAUGHS] 110 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,073 - Derek, look. - Huh. How do you like that? 111 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,435 Have you guys ever seen Jim Henson's Labyrinth? 112 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,589 No. Have you seen... 113 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,876 the Channel Five News? - No. 114 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,235 Uh, Labyrinth has teenage Jennifer Connelly. 115 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,153 Channel Five News has file footage of pills being sorted. 116 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,117 People think Jennifer Connelly's old now... 117 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,430 and that her hands look like two bags of snakes. 118 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,433 - I think that's bogus. - I don't think we have much in common. 119 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,239 - You watch NCIS? - Yes, sir. Yes, I do. 120 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,995 - CBS knows what we want. - Yeah, they get our generation. 121 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,309 They do. They really do. 122 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,233 - I switch over for the Leno though. - Yeah, me too. 123 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,719 I'm glad he's back. 124 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,713 I don't know who that month-old jack o' lantern was... 125 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,110 but I didn't get this brand of humor. 126 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,635 Good heavens, Meg, you're sprouting up like a weed. 127 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,631 I know. She's growing every day. 128 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,189 - Meg, you remember Dr. Hartman? - Of course she does. 129 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,157 I performed her very first pelvic exam. 130 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,039 Unless I'm confusing you with someone else. 131 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,828 Nope. That was... That was you. 132 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,991 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 133 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,719 Good evening, everyone. 134 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,998 James Woods. 135 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,553 [GROWLS] 136 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,711 Thank you for joining me at my humble manor. 137 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,997 I'd like to introduce you to my lovely companion, Priscilla. 138 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,275 Nice to meet you all. 139 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,192 - Who's he? - James Woods. 140 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,839 Oh, I thought he was a shark. 141 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,797 No, he was a on a show called Shark. 142 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,872 - But he's made of wood? - No, his last name is Woods... 143 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,235 but he's not made of wood. Nobody is. 144 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:02,358 This truly is a night to celebrate, especially for me. 145 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:03,794 What's going on here, Woods? 146 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,235 The invitation said this was a dinner in my honor. 147 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,879 - That's what mine said too. - Me too. 148 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,234 - Mine too. - Same here! 149 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,188 STEPHANIE: Where's the food? - Actually, this dinner honors all of you. 150 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,588 Where should I begin? 151 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,558 You see, recently I've become a born-again Christian. 152 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,678 Thanks to this beautiful little angel. 153 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,990 She came into my life as if out of nowhere... 154 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,435 enchanted me beyond my wildest dreams... 155 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:30,230 and opened my eyes to the cleansing truth of Jesus Christ's love. 156 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,676 Oh, honey, it was always within you. I just helped you find it. 157 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,678 Um, what does all this gay stuff have to do with us? 158 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,114 The fact of the matter is... 159 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,477 I have wronged each and every one of you in some way. 160 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:45,599 And, since I am a man of God now, I am truly repentant. 161 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,228 So I invited you all here to make amends. 162 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:49,958 Why the hell should we trust you? 163 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,190 You've been terrorizing our family for years. 164 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,477 I understand that there is some healing to do here tonight... 165 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,710 and I am prepared to be patient. 166 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,917 Please, won't you just give me a chance? 167 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,196 And I promise you won't be disappointed. 168 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,828 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just go check on dinner. 169 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,319 Oh, I'll help you, sweetheart. 170 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,276 - This is all very strange. - I agree. Something's not right. 171 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:18,672 I don't know, maybe we should give him a chance. Maybe he really is born again. 172 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:22,310 Well, he could be. It all depends on what his astrological sign is. 173 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,040 Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. 174 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,918 I'm very intuitive with these things. 175 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,958 Maybe if I sit in his chair, I can get a reading on his energy. 176 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,348 I mean, if he's an Aquarius... 177 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,512 a rebirth would not be unexpected. - That's enough, Stephanie. 178 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,240 STEPHANIE: You know, It's like when I did Glenn's star chart. 179 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:41,709 [ALL GASP] 180 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,759 Did the...? Did the cork hit me? 181 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,114 [GASPING AND SCREAMING] 182 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:52,439 My God. She's dead. She's been shot. 183 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:53,755 [ALL GASP] 184 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,879 I can't help feeling this would be sadder if she wasn't heavy. 185 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,749 Oh, my God. It was him. It was James Woods. He killed her. 186 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,559 Jesus, I knew he was crazy, but I didn't think he was a murderer. 187 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:08,713 Oh, he must've brought us here to kill us all. Run! Run for your lives! 188 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,433 [INTENSE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING] 189 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:12,874 We gotta get out of here. 190 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,310 Come on, get in the car. 191 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,475 - Oh, my God, Peter, back it up! - Oh, really, Lois? 192 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,632 I thought I might drive forward. That might be a fun thing to do. 193 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,836 Stop fighting! 194 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,039 Quick, Peter, get in the back. 195 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,672 Oh, thank God. We made it. 196 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,592 [GROANING] 197 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:08,036 My neck. You backed into me, and now... Oh! 198 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,239 MURIEL: And your back. - And my back. My back, yes. Oh. 199 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,511 All right, it looks like we're stuck here. 200 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:21,478 Storm has flooded the causeway, and the bridge is destroyed. 201 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,631 For the moment, there's no way out. 202 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,360 No Way Out, great film. Sean Young naked in the limo. 203 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:30,274 - Well, maybe the storm will let up soon. - I don't know, it's a hard rain. 204 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,954 Christian Slater, Morgan Freeman. "We just want the money." 205 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,192 We should have known this was coming. There's been three days of thunder. 206 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,920 Tom Cruise, race cars. Those are my bed sheets. 207 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,069 What are we gonna do? 208 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,357 We can't stay here with James Woods lurking somewhere in the house. 209 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,078 Does anyone have a cell phone? 210 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,395 [CELL PHONES BEEP] 211 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,551 - I'm not getting any reception. - Me neither. 212 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:49,994 - No bars! - It's all right. 213 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,993 I'll put a message in a bottle. 214 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,910 Now we wait. 215 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:02,233 - Look, he's got a landline we can use. - Oh, no. I wouldn't feel right about that. 216 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,470 We're guests, and it's long distance. 217 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,030 Doesn't matter. The line's dead. 218 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,189 WOMAN: Oh, my God! 219 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,998 [CHATTERING] 220 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,390 Whoa, whoa, whoa. All right. Look, everybody but Chris... 221 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,472 just keep your pants on and let's figure a way out of this. 222 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,198 He's right. We gotta stay calm. 223 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:20,238 - With a killer in the house? - Killer in the house. 224 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:24,154 Oh, my God. I just realized something. James Woods hates me the most. 225 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,311 That means he's probably gonna kill me next. 226 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:30,155 [IN COWBO Y VOICE] Well, I reckon if I was a cattle rustler, I wouldn't be afraid. 227 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,437 - Oh, Peter, that's good. - I know, Lois. 228 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,431 Hey, guys, has anybody seen James? 229 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,750 Sweetheart, you may wanna sit down for this. 230 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,990 Who want little tiny tacos? 231 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,390 Oh, little taco. I'll have one of those. 232 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,671 - It's him! - Sorry I took so long. 233 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,116 I was going to the bathroom, and I just couldn't stop looking at my penis... 234 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:49,872 because it's, you know, so fantastic. 235 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,032 You're a... I heard it's fantastic. You're a monster, James Woods! 236 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,395 You think you can commit murder and get away with it? 237 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,676 - Quagmire loved that girl. QUAGMIRE: Easy. 238 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,031 Murder? What are you talking about? 239 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,316 You're going away for a long time, pal. 240 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,597 - Jimmy, what does he mean? - I don't know what's going on here. 241 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,878 Maybe that dead pile of cookie dough in the next room will refresh your memory. 242 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,157 What do you mean? There's nothing in the next room. 243 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,195 It's gone. 244 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,396 Where is she? What'd you do with the body? 245 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:23,595 What body? 246 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,239 You know, maybe she wasn't dead. 247 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,595 I'll admit it, I'm not great with that stuff. 248 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,832 I don't know what's happening here, but look, I'm a lot of things. 249 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,355 A member of Mensa, a huge hit with the ladies. 250 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,192 Someone who would have broken out bigger... 251 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,112 if he weren't so impossible to work with. 252 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:40,158 But a murderer? I only just found God. 253 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,629 Why would I jeopardize my entrance into heaven? 254 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,872 If I were you, I'd keep your mouth shut till you talk to a lawyer. 255 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,189 I didn't kill anybody. 256 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:48,475 [THUNDER CRASHES] 257 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:49,629 [ALL GASP] 258 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:50,994 PETER: Oh, my God. 259 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:54,152 Is this what black people see all the time? 260 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,309 [MAN GRUNTS] 261 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,469 [THUD] 262 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:57,789 [ALL GASP] 263 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:00,799 Look! 264 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,472 [SCREAMS] 265 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:05,829 He's dead. 266 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,389 - Oh, my God. - Nice. 267 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,472 Nobody touch the knife. There could be fingerprints on it. 268 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,315 So James Woods murdered Stephanie, and then he murdered himself. 269 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,357 - Criss-cross. - Oh, Peter. Don't you see? 270 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,273 He didn't kill himself, and he didn't kill Stephanie. 271 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,228 - What are you saying? - James Woods isn't the murderer. 272 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,832 The murderer is one of us. 273 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,268 [ALL GASP] 274 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,352 And someone ate the last goat cheese tartlet. 275 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:33,873 [DISCONTENTED CHATTERING] 276 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,031 Now I hope I die next. 277 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,953 Okay, everyone, it's important that we all stay calm. 278 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,032 How are we supposed to stay calm? There's a killer in the room. 279 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,350 We all gotta get out of here. We're gonna die. 280 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,715 Mr. Mayor, pull yourself together. 281 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,199 [BREAKS] 282 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,079 Wait a minute. Joe, look. 283 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,268 Oh, my God. 284 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,432 - Stephanie was an accident. - That's a way of putting it. 285 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:13,589 What do you mean, Joe? 286 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,751 This gun was timed to fire at that chair... 287 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,990 where James Woods would have been sitting. 288 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,789 But he left, and Stephanie was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 289 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:26,351 So whoever the murderer is, they were after James Woods, not Stephanie. 290 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,718 The question is, who here wanted James Woods dead? 291 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:40,435 Let's look around and see if we can find any more clues. 292 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,875 Oh, my God. 293 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,160 I feel like everyone's wondering why I'm wearing shorts. 294 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,390 - Nobody's even looking at you. - That's what I mean. 295 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,916 The fact no one said anything makes it even more obvious everyone noticed. 296 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,399 PETER: Brian, look what I found! 297 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,518 Check it out. I'm a robot from outer space. 298 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,798 Hang on. I'm coming down. Go, go, gadget skis. 299 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,555 [GROANS] 300 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:13,989 Uh-oh. 301 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,040 All right, since it's my fault that Joe got knocked out... 302 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,158 it is now my responsibility to take over the investigation. 303 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,198 - I don't know if that actually follows. - It does follow, Brian. 304 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:26,238 Because I'm the one with the giant magnifying glass. 305 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,958 - Is my eye big? - Yeah. 306 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,680 Good. Good. That means progress. 307 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,432 Let's figure out what we know here. 308 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,115 The gun was meant to kill Jimmy Woods, but Stephanie got in the way. 309 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:40,193 So the murderer had to improvise and finish the job by stabbing Jimmy Woods. 310 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,191 - What? What? What is that? - What? 311 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:45,318 Don't call him Jimmy Woods like you're in the Hollywood set. 312 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,629 Brian did one TV pilot... 313 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,792 and he thinks he can call the star of Cape Fear Bobby Di Niro. 314 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,951 - Who's the director, Brian? - Marty Scorsese. 315 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:54,190 - Star of Silence of the Lambs? - Tony Hopkins. 316 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,430 - Who sang "Hold On To The Night"? - Dick Marx. 317 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,953 Who's the cast of Miami Vice? 318 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,395 Donny Johnny, Philly Mikey Tommy and Eddie Jimmy Olmos. 319 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,632 Ugh. You are... You are just douchey to the core. 320 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,475 Whoever the killer is, they had a reason for wanting James Woods dead. 321 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,153 Now, who here has a motive? 322 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,390 Well, according to James Woods, we all did. 323 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:13,357 He brought us here to make amends. 324 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,114 But he wronged one of us enough to want revenge. 325 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,430 The question is, who? 326 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,309 Well, I know one person who could have. My partner Tom. 327 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:23,509 [ALL GASP] 328 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:24,669 All right, it's true. 329 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,991 James Woods ruined my career. I originally wanted to be an actor. 330 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,435 I booked the lead role in Nightmare On Elm Street. 331 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,797 James Woods said, "No, don't bother. Something else will come along." 332 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:34,949 So I turned it down. 333 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,509 And now this Robert Englund is the talk of the town. 334 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,796 That should be me everyone's talking about. 335 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,190 Oh, my God, you guys, we must've fallen asleep. 336 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:43,839 We're in a dream right now. 337 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,956 That's right, you are in a dream, children. 338 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:49,476 Which means you are going to get something of a serious scratching by me. 339 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,359 Freddy Krueger. Ha, ha. 340 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,397 Is it...? Is it Krueger? 341 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,120 Was I angry? Yes, of course. But I didn't kill him. 342 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,511 What about Seamus? You hated James Woods. You told me so. 343 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,275 Aye, he's the one who made me what I am today. 344 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:05,469 [SIGHS] 345 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,393 I wish you were a real, live ornery sea captain. 346 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,028 But he didn't wish hard enough. It only worked on me head. 347 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,351 - Oh, my God. Seriously? - No, I was a normal guy until one night... 348 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,114 we dropped acid together and he thought I was a steak. 349 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,430 Grilled me, ate my arms and legs. It was a whole thing. 350 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,875 But I'm not the killer. What about the mayor? 351 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,315 He could have killed him and got off scot-free! 352 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:25,509 [SIGHS] 353 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,159 He took the Twitter name Mayor West... 354 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,551 so now I have to use Mayor underscore West. 355 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,517 That rat-faced cracker. 356 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,955 But you hated him too, Dr. Hartman. 357 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,873 He switched around all the bones on the skeleton in my office. 358 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,598 I don't know what's what anymore. 359 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,671 Let's take a look at that wrist injury. 360 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,796 That's my foot, not my hand. 361 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,277 Woods! 362 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,510 Sure, I hated him, but so did Mort. 363 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,831 He's terrible. He took a Penthouse into the pharmacy bathroom... 364 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,150 and left this little handy work in the sink. 365 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,356 He's a dirt bag. But I didn't kill him. 366 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:57,794 Maybe it was Diane. 367 00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:58,949 [SIGHS] 368 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:01,429 James Woods promised to introduce me to Dan Rather. 369 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,319 But instead, he introduced me to Danny Bonaduce. 370 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,948 I tell you, that guy looks like a dog turning 30. 371 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,394 What about the old guy? 372 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,710 I heard him complaining about Woods in the dining room. 373 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,953 That's true. He replaced my Cialis with methamphetamines! 374 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,352 - Pedal faster. - I can't go any faster. 375 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,272 Where you going, kids? I want to talk to you. 376 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,829 Come to my place for a glass of wine and fruit pies. 377 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,356 And then we can go in the back room and play crazy snakes. Hee-hee-hee-hee! 378 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,636 Hey, wait. What about those two European guys? 379 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,552 They really hated James Woods. 380 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:31,869 Where the hell are they? 381 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,435 Oh, we've been invited to a party in our honors. 382 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,158 But it was for this week after's. 383 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:37,389 Why aren't we there? 384 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,790 It was wedged in our post pail. 385 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,837 [BOTH GROAN] 386 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,153 And what about Quagmire? 387 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,151 Fine. So he stole Cheryl Tiegs from me. 388 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:49,949 - He ruined your TV pilot. - I backed out of that project willingly. 389 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:52,918 Oh, yeah, that's what every hack says. You know, Brian... 390 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:54,877 [ARGUING] 391 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,238 [ALL GASP] 392 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:13,514 STEWIE: Eh. My secret room's bigger. HERBERT: Mine's smaller. 393 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:18,716 All right, stand back. This could be dangerous. 394 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,596 Oh, laundry room. Laundry room, everybody. 395 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,828 Oh, see, here we go. 396 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:05,237 Aha. James Woods made a list of all his misdeeds so he could make amends. 397 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,198 He punched you in the throat, and that's why you sound like that? 398 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:11,796 No, he punched me in the throat because I sound like this. 399 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,109 And Consuela, he... 400 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,635 I can't read his handwriting here. What happened? 401 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,588 One day, I bring my nephew to work, and he molest my nephew... 402 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,911 and my nephew, he only 14, and he cry... 403 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,152 and then he shoot himself in the face. 404 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,710 He also has a list of good restaurants up and down the Eastern Seaboard. 405 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,348 Peter, one of the people in this room is a murderer. 406 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:33,748 And 19 of us are not. 407 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,514 Maybe we wanna know a good bed and breakfast in Maine. 408 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,473 What are all these? 409 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,359 God, there are tons of OxyContin bottles in here. 410 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,511 All prescribed to James Woods. 411 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,557 And all from Goldman's Pharmacy. 412 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:48,678 - What's that all about? - I don't know what you're talking about. 413 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,798 James Woods never bought anything in my pharmacy. Ever. 414 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,270 Yes, he did. Says here he talked Muriel into selling him OxyContin... 415 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,476 for him and his 19-year-old girlfriend. 416 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,234 This went on for weeks. She started to have misgivings... 417 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,868 and threatened to cut him off. He wouldn't let her. 418 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,032 He threatened to blackmail her by turning her in to the feds. 419 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,430 Sounds like a pretty good motive to me. 420 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,874 Oh, Muriel, tell me this isn't true. 421 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,110 - I overcharged him. - I forgive you. 422 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,319 Look, why would I kill him anyway? He told us he was here to make amends. 423 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,630 But there was a chance he'd blab, wasn't there? 424 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,792 No! No, it's not true! I would never kill anybody, never! 425 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:29,236 And I am not saying another word until I talk to my lawyer, because... 426 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,799 Why is he wearing shorts? 427 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,757 Oh, my God, I told you. 428 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,469 Muriel, just surrender quietly. It'll be easier for us all if you... 429 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:37,993 [THUNDER CRASHES] 430 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,957 [MURIEL SCREAMS] 431 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:42,829 She's gone. 432 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,679 - We lost her. - There's a murderer on the loose. 433 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:54,955 None of us are safe. 434 00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:58,351 All right, let's split up and search the house. I'll go with Lois. 435 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,239 Chris, you check the basement with Herbert. 436 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,198 - Meg, you go with Brian and Stewie. - Uh, no, she can't. 437 00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:07,750 Yeah, uh, she can't. We were gonna use this time... 438 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,275 to figure out what to get you for your birthday. 439 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,512 Ah, okay. Oh, yeah, no, you guys go. Now I'm excited. 440 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,910 Okay, uh, Meg, you go with Carl. Sorry, Carl. 441 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,833 Tom and Diane, you're a team. Quagmire and Bonnie. 442 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,871 Um, Seamus and Dr. Hartman? 443 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,429 That could be funny. Don't usually see you together. 444 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,397 Uh, Derek and Jillian, take the attic. 445 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,597 Joe and Priscilla are passed out. They'll be the unconscious team. 446 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:33,550 And that leaves one three-person team of Mort, Consuela, and Mayor West. 447 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,756 All right. Let's do this. 448 00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:42,272 So, uh, you guys like to party? 449 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,237 - No. - Oh, no. 450 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,595 Oh, my God, what a couple of squares. 451 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,910 Squaresville, I tell you! 452 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:07,195 - What are we supposed to be doing? - We're looking for Muriel Goldman. 453 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,996 Hello? Is anybody up here? 454 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:31,873 [SCREECHES] 455 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,392 Hey, maybe it was that cat who was the murderer. 456 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,709 Let me ask him. 457 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,553 Meow meow meow? Meow meow meow meow? 458 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,190 We don't all talk like that. I happen to be a professor. 459 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:45,828 - Our apologies, sir. - I should imagine so. 460 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,629 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have papers to correct. 461 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:56,079 Chris, I'm worried with this killer on the loose. 462 00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:01,519 If I should die, I just want you to know that they might find some things. 463 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:02,874 Strange things. 464 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,476 - Things that don't make sense to you. - Um, okay. 465 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,950 And there's gonna be a lot of talk. Nasty talk. 466 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:14,830 And I just want you to know, from me, it's all gonna be out of context. 467 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,353 I don't know what that means. 468 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,876 It means, if I die, you gotta burn my house down. 469 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,831 Oh, sweet, a pool table. Let's see if we can find some cues. 470 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,634 [SCREAMS] 471 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,995 - What is it? - Phew. It's okay. 472 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,515 It's just the stuffed bear from The Great Outdoors. 473 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,671 - Did you see The Great Outdoors? - No. 474 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,513 - You suck. - Hey, I found the pool cues. 475 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,151 [SCREAMS] 476 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,592 Meg? 477 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,320 Looks like I'm all alone. Well, hey, that's all right. 478 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:01,029 I watch a lot of movies. I can just use my imagination. 479 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,713 - Hi, Carl. - Hey, bear. 480 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,313 So, um, in the bear world... 481 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,552 are, like, pandas your version of interracial children? 482 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,029 Yeah, pandas aren't something I agree with. 483 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,998 - They're cute, though, right? - Just when they're babies. 484 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,596 Muriel? 485 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,558 Muriel? 486 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:21,709 Muriel? 487 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:22,869 [SNIFFS] 488 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,349 - Nothing. - You know what she smells like? 489 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:26,873 I know what everybody smells like. 490 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:28,029 - Carl? - Cheetos. 491 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:29,599 - Mort? Derek? - Pennies. Brut. 492 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,637 - Joe? Consuela? - Feces. Pledge. 493 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,791 - Seamus? Quagmire? - Wood. Wood. 494 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,154 Wow. 495 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,390 I have to admit, before this Muriel thing... 496 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,551 I thought you might be the murderer. 497 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,119 Oh, my God. So insulted. 498 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,078 Trust me, if this were my work, it would be much more artful. 499 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,912 There's a poetry to what I do. 500 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,514 - You know how I would've killed James? - How? 501 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,148 I would have electrocuted him causing a temporary paralysis. 502 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:53,311 While he was still conscious but unable to move... 503 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,756 I would've reached into his anus and pulled out his lower intestine. 504 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,912 Hand over hand, like a fancy magician's scarf trick. 505 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,833 Then I would fashion the intestine into a crude giraffe... 506 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,037 and give it to his children as a Christmas stocking stuffer. 507 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,113 Then as his eyes start to close in final submission to death's cold embrace... 508 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,033 I'd point to the ceiling and say, "Is that your card?" 509 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,953 And stuck to the ceiling is the card that he picked earlier. 510 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,917 Oh, I forgot to tell you, he picked a card. 511 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,310 - Wow, you're an artist. - Oh, thanks, you're nice. 512 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:21,754 I screwed that up. 513 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,392 Muriel? 514 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,312 Oh, yeah, like she's gonna answer you, Tom. 515 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,278 And here we go with the attitude. This is why you're single. 516 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,318 Oh. So I'm not supposed to point out when you do something stupid? 517 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,118 You hear that tone you're using? 518 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,077 That's penis repellent right there. 519 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,157 Careful. She could be hiding behind any one of these statues. 520 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,476 Muriel, this is Tom Tucker from the Channel Five news. 521 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,996 - Perhaps you'd like an autograph. - For God's sakes. Do you hear yourself? 522 00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,149 There it is. 523 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:00,309 [MIMICS SPRAY CAN] 524 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,152 Knock it off! 525 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,476 Hey, wait a minute. Doesn't feel like there's any wall here. 526 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,437 - What do you think's in there? - I don't know. Looks scary. 527 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,512 What do you think, Ollie? I miss Ollie. 528 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,989 - I better take a look. - No. I'll go first. 529 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:30,593 - Do you see anything? TOM: No, it's... It's too dark. 530 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:32,713 [GRUNTING] 531 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,394 Tom? Tom! 532 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,079 [THUNDER CRASHES] 533 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,798 [RAIN PATTERING] 534 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:50,839 - Boy, it's really raining hard. - Yeah, well, we needed it. 535 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,070 - What? - Peter, we've been married a long time. 536 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,595 Why do I still get "guy in an elevator" small talk? 537 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,274 I don't know. You're the one talking about the weather. 538 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:02,069 So looking forward to the weekend? 539 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:08,949 [SCREAMS] 540 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,348 It's okay. It's just us. 541 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,750 Oh, Quagmire, Bonnie, you scared us. 542 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,512 Have you seen any sign of Muriel? 543 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,272 Why didn't I think of this before? 544 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,908 I should just check the "Find a Jew" app on my iPhone. 545 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:23,470 Huh. There's just two big clusters on each side of the country. 546 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,029 No, look. There's one down south. 547 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:27,235 Oh. They got him. 548 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,433 Be careful. Muriel could be in any one of these pantries. 549 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,033 [GRUNT NEARBY] 550 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,591 Dr. Hartman? 551 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,357 Doctor? 552 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,875 Okay, quit messing around. 553 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,508 Dr. Hartman, this isn't funny. 554 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:12,839 [BOTH YELL] 555 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:16,109 [LAUGHS] 556 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:18,077 You bastard! 557 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,673 You should've seen your face. 558 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,638 That's so not funny. Now I gotta empty my pants. 559 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,351 - What's that? - Acorns. 560 00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,670 - Acorns? - Acorns, that's what I said. 561 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,751 - We sound too much alike. - I know. 562 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,552 [THUNDER CRASHES] 563 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:40,114 Okay. Um... 564 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,669 [HUMS THEME TO "LOST IN SPACE"] 565 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:45,469 Oh, uh, Lost in Space. 566 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:46,789 Yup, okay. Um... 567 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,275 [HUMS THEME TO "THE DICK VAN D YKE SHOW"] 568 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:51,793 Oh, that's Dick Van Dyke. 569 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,713 Okay, um... Okay, I got one. Um... 570 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,155 [HUMMING D YNASTY THEME] 571 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:01,709 I have no idea. 572 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,633 [SINGING] Linda Evans and John Forsythe 573 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,394 They're coming down big, long stairs 574 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,710 Come on, Brian, you know this 575 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,313 We're all rich 576 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:15,519 And we're all at least in our late 50s 577 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,750 Think Joan Collins 578 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:18,909 [CONTINUES HUMMING] 579 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,071 Come on, Brian, you know this 580 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,310 It's the middle trumpet part 581 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,596 It was a pretty big deal For Diahann Carroll 582 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,876 To play a rich black woman in the 80s 583 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,235 Come on, Bri. Right? You don't know this? 584 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,630 - Falcon Crest? - Oh, it's Dynasty! 585 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,631 Oh. Yeah, l... I didn't watch that. 586 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,597 [WOMAN SCREAMS NEARBY] 587 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:45,637 STEWIE: Aah! BRIAN: Oh, my God! 588 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,791 [ALL GASP] 589 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,151 Oh, my God, Muriel. My sweet Muriel. 590 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,471 She was so young. She was so beauti... 591 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,437 She was so gener... 592 00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,079 We were married. 593 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,550 Look. This is the same knife that killed James Woods. 594 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,951 Oh, my God. Then Muriel wasn't the killer. 595 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:07,951 Well, then, who is? 596 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,395 I don't know, but one thing's for sure. 597 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,199 If we don't find out before this storm lets up... 598 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,396 we're all gonna be dead by morning. 599 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,191 If we're gonna make it out alive, we gotta stick together from now on. 600 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,794 - Is everyone here? - Wait a minute. Where's Meg? 601 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,190 - And where's Tom Tucker? - Right here. 602 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:39,554 Oh, my God. What happened? 603 00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:42,439 I fell through a trapdoor that led to an underground passageway. 604 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,194 So I followed it, and it led me to a hatch in the parlor. 605 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,749 The same thing happened to me. But with a mustache. 606 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,717 Let's do a count, make sure we're here. 607 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,350 Check in by team name and I hope you all came up with cool team names. 608 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,192 - The Bushmen are here. - Pirates here. 609 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,635 - The Tigers are here. - We're also the Tigers. 610 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,155 - We're called Bad News. - We're Lilo and Stitch. 611 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,594 We're Boys II Men. 612 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:05,036 Hey, Peter, look at this. I'm getting a faint signal on my cell phone. 613 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,191 Really? Oh, my God, is that...? 614 00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:09,870 Are you holding up the whole Hollywood sign? 615 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,429 No, no, no. The sign was way in the background. 616 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,990 I was standing in the foreground like this when Jillian took the picture. 617 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,958 So by forced perspective, it looks like I'm holding up the sign. 618 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,190 I don't believe you. I think you are a god. 619 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,237 And I will die for you or kill others. 620 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:24,674 Damn it! The signal's gone. 621 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,796 If I can get up to the roof or something... 622 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,554 maybe I can get a stronger signal and call the police. 623 00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:31,790 Okay. And I will skin this dog in your honor. 624 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,359 - Please don't. - As you wish. 625 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,397 Do you really think it could work, Derek? 626 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,074 - There's only one way to find out. - I'll come with you. 627 00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:42,028 No, it's too dangerous. Especially with Derek Jr. on the way. 628 00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:43,912 ALL: Aw. 629 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,709 Ha, ha. I know. It's a little early to announce it but you're all friends. 630 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,156 Except one of you who's killing us. But everyone else is our friend. 631 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,630 - Oh, congratulations, Jillian. - I know. 632 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,518 I'm eating number two now. 633 00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:58,113 Eating for two, honey. 634 00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,554 I'll be back. 635 00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,880 All right, nobody leaves this room until he gets back. 636 00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:05,917 Wait a minute. Something's not right here. 637 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:07,115 [SNIFFS] 638 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,510 We're short one vagina in this room. 639 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,276 Oh, my God! Priscilla's gone! 640 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:16,109 [ALL GASP] 641 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:17,429 Th... That's impossible. 642 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,795 She was still passed out on the couch when we left. 643 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:20,949 [GROANS] 644 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,918 - What the hell happened? - Joe! You're okay! 645 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,355 - I'm fine. What's going on? - What's going on is... 646 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,909 Priscilla's the murderer. - We don't know that. 647 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,992 - She was by herself this whole time. - But she was unconscious. 648 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,116 We don't know how long she was unconscious. 649 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,714 - She could've killed Muriel. - This is all speculation. 650 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,075 - We don't know if she's the killer. - Besides, she's hot. 651 00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:40,639 Hot chicks are never crazy. 652 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,552 Derek lifted up the Hollywood sign. 653 00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:44,711 [ARGUING] 654 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,680 PETER: He did too. I saw the picture. STEWIE: Don't touch me! 655 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:36,835 Come on. 656 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:47,909 Yes! 657 00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:50,711 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 658 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,920 Hey, what are you doing up here? 659 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,514 Wait a minute. What the hell is this? 660 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,557 Oh, my God. It's you. 661 00:37:58,720 --> 00:38:01,188 The man or woman who's been killing everybody. 662 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,157 Stay back. Stay back. 663 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,032 [THUD] 664 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,553 It came from over there. 665 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:17,589 [ALL GASP] 666 00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:19,716 Dear God! 667 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:22,829 He's dead. 668 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,309 - Do you think he slipped off the roof? - Maybe. 669 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,948 But he was dead before the fall. Look at this. 670 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,270 He's been hit on the head by a blunt object. 671 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,113 Oh, my God, no, Derek! 672 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,840 Oh, Jillian, I'm so sorry. 673 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,639 PETER: Grab his phone. I wanna prove something to these guys. 674 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:49,074 It's Priscilla. It's gotta be Priscilla. She's the only one who's not here. 675 00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:51,629 Maybe, maybe not. We thought Muriel was the killer. 676 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,870 Look how that turned out. We have no proof. 677 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,794 Is this the latest you've ever stayed up? It's the latest I've ever stayed up. 678 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,509 Oh, no. Someone take Mr. Woods' Golden Globe. 679 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,113 She's right. There was a Golden Globe here, and it's gone. 680 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,748 I think we may have identified our blunt object. 681 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:11,717 Is very important award. 682 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:16,351 No, no. Actually, if I can clarify this, it's not a very important award. 683 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,317 Okay? Here's how the Golden Globes work. 684 00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:19,469 Want a Golden Globe? 685 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,756 Take a member of the Foreign Press to lunch... 686 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,388 and they'll vote for you. Hmm? That's all you gotta do. 687 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,028 And there's only like 30 guys in the Foreign Press. 688 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,237 So it's relatively easy to buy one of those things, okay? 689 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:31,958 You with me, America? You with me? 690 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,759 So let's all shut the fuck up about the prestige of these things... 691 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,229 because it's just... It's a sale, you know? 692 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,436 You might as well walk into a Zales and say: 693 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,592 "File me up one of these and I'll pay you the price of a bacon burger." 694 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,752 Okay? We all clear on what the Golden Globes are? 695 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,480 All right? Now, that said, if anyone from the Paris Observer... 696 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,835 would like to have lunch, it's on me. Ha, ha. 697 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,390 All we have to do is find that Golden Globe and we have our murder weapon. 698 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:57,074 If we're lucky, it may just mean we'll have our killer. 699 00:39:57,240 --> 00:39:59,435 All right, from this moment forward... 700 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,113 nobody leaves the group. 701 00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,430 Joe's right. Everyone huddle up. 702 00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,917 Good. Now we're gonna search the house, and we're gonna move as one. 703 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,231 Anyone who separates from the group we will assume to be the killer. 704 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,914 - All clear? ALL: Yeah. 705 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,036 All right. Let's do this. 706 00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:21,154 Guys, uh, we're stopping at the bathroom first, okay? 707 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,675 So if you're not comfortable with me as a person... 708 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,910 please circulate yourselves to the uh... 709 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,559 PETER: Right, here we go. Stand back, I got a full bladder. 710 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:31,870 QUAGMIRE: I gotta go too. You wanna have a sword fight? 711 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,315 WEST: Ooh, I want in on that. CARL: Me too. 712 00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,471 CONSUELA: Is okay, I clean. 713 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:42,313 Oh, boy, we got a problem here. 714 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:46,234 All right, on the count of three. One, two, three. 715 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:47,469 Thanks, guys. 716 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,871 [PETER HUMMING "HAVA NAGILA"] 717 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,837 Stop it, Peter. 718 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:55,516 - Peter, knock it off. - Okay, Jew... Joe. 719 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,159 Shut up! I'm not Jewish! 720 00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,709 Well, I think we've learned a little something... 721 00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:02,838 about our friendly neighborhood policeman today. 722 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:06,117 We gotta search every one of these rooms. 723 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:07,633 We'll start with Quagmire's. 724 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:13,273 Oh, my God! 725 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,237 Are those Stephanie's underpants? 726 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,152 - Oh, Jesus. - They're huge. 727 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,914 Looks like the crotch got chewed on by a walrus mouth. 728 00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,514 Ha, ha. Look, it's got flowers. 729 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,671 I mean, why bother? Who's gonna see them? 730 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:26,273 Maybe someone in space. 731 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,431 [ALL LAUGH] 732 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,474 Come on, guys, can't we all just be glad she's dead? 733 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,679 - Whose room is this? - It's, uh, my room. 734 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,308 You travel with a giant poster of yourself? 735 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,278 Yes. It helps me get to sleep, knowing that Big Tom Tucker... 736 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,829 is keeping a watchful eye out for nocturnal intruders. 737 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,513 What a ridiculous man you are. 738 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,875 I didn't know my room was gonna be scrutinized. 739 00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:01,192 - lf you don't like it, let's get out of here. - Not till we've searched the place. 740 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,279 [GASPS] 741 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,031 You guys? 742 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:18,989 [ALL GASP] 743 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:20,718 Oh, my God! 744 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,875 Well, well, I think we've found our killer. 745 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:27,712 Now, wait a minute, that's not mine. 746 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,155 I suppose it crawled under your bed all by itself. 747 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,311 Well, maybe it did. I didn't murder anybody. 748 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:33,913 Tell it to Mike Judge. 749 00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,237 Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is crazy. What about Priscilla? 750 00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:39,960 We have no idea where she is. She could've planted that. 751 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,908 Well, I suppose it's possible. 752 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:45,832 What the hell? 753 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:50,637 - Ah, dang it, I got a nosebleed. - No, you don't. 754 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,479 Peter, give me a boost. 755 00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:58,238 [PETER GRUNTING] 756 00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:04,959 [ALL SCREAM] 757 00:43:05,720 --> 00:43:08,188 - You're going to jail, Tucker. - Like hell I am. 758 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,238 You're not taking me anywhere, you Podunk, Quahog redneck cop. 759 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,790 Not you or anyone else in this damn town. I'm not going to jail. 760 00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:17,878 After him. 761 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,869 - Give it up, Tucker. - Make me, Swanson. 762 00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:47,679 [PANTING] 763 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:48,955 Damn, he's slippery. 764 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:50,669 You guys give up? 765 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,637 - What do we do? - Wait a minute, guys. 766 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,950 - I got an idea. - Shoot. 767 00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:58,430 Half of us go around one side. The other half go around the other side. 768 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,717 - Then we won't chase him in circles. - Damn, that's awfully risky. 769 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:05,589 It sure is, but at this point, I'm willing to try anything. 770 00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,876 All right. Let's do it! 771 00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:11,709 PETER: It worked. 772 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:12,909 [GRUNTING] 773 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,674 Let me go. Let me go, you bastards. 774 00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,070 You're all gonna pay for this. 775 00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:21,280 Just for that, when the movie of this story comes out... 776 00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,670 I'm gonna make sure Adrien Brody plays you. 777 00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:25,831 I guess that means you don't want anyone to see it. 778 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,877 [ALL LAUGH] 779 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,349 Okay. All right. 780 00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,308 Thanks a lot for your help, boys. 781 00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:06,358 - Nice work, Swanson. - Thank you, Mr. Mayor. 782 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,717 It just goes to prove even the most trusted member of our community... 783 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,950 can snap and become a psychopathic killer. 784 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,317 You never know who's lurking out there in your neighborhood. 785 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,755 When we all see each other at school on Monday... 786 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:19,592 are we still gonna be friends? 787 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:23,791 Despite all the craziness this weekend... 788 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,270 I feel like a lot of people were looking at me like I was attractive. 789 00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:29,829 Which makes me think I'm gonna grow up to be good-Iooking. 790 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:33,072 What part of that is supposed to lure me into a conversation? 791 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:36,152 I talk to you about wet tennis balls. 792 00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,678 - Oh, come on. - We're in a fight. 793 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:45,394 Lois, are any of my Hot Wheels in the bath... Lois? Lois? Lois? 794 00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,074 Lois, are any of my Hot Wheels in the bathroom? 795 00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:49,514 I put them all in your bag. 796 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:51,079 I don't see the fire engine... 797 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:54,835 but I guess we'll just find out when we get home, won't we? 798 00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:57,356 I'll see you in the car. 799 00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,348 - Hi, Diane. - Oh, hi, Lois. 800 00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:06,669 How you doing? 801 00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,149 I just thought I'd make sure you were okay. 802 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:10,799 Oh, I'm managing. 803 00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,871 It's just so hard to believe... 804 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,031 you can work with someone for 15 years... 805 00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:18,749 and yet have no idea who they really are or what they're capable of. 806 00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:21,150 Oh, I know. And I'm sorry. 807 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:22,833 So, what happens now? 808 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,230 Will you just anchor the news by yourself? 809 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,072 I suppose, for the time being. 810 00:46:27,240 --> 00:46:29,276 Well, that's kind of exciting, right? 811 00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:30,429 [DIANE CHUCKLES] 812 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:31,589 You sound like my mother. 813 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,036 She actually bought me this blouse for my first solo broadcast. 814 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:36,519 I guess that's sweet, huh? 815 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:38,238 She... 816 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,153 - I'm sorry, I don't understand. - What do you mean? 817 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,595 How could she have known you'd be anchoring alone? 818 00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,672 I mean, none of this happened until... 819 00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,475 Uh, gosh, I, uh... 820 00:46:55,640 --> 00:47:01,476 You know, I think I'd better, uh, go make sure Peter has his, uh, fire engine. 821 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,313 Oh, really? But I was enjoying our talk. 822 00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,755 Oh, no, l... So was I, but, you know. 823 00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:08,672 I've... Really, I should... I should go. 824 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,956 No. I don't think so. 825 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:12,599 Oh, my God. 826 00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,557 Oh, my God, it was you. 827 00:47:14,720 --> 00:47:16,073 You're the killer. 828 00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:17,559 Very clever, Lois. 829 00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:20,678 You shouldn't have stopped to say hi. You would've lived longer. 830 00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,274 Why do I ever try to be friends with other women? 831 00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:24,555 But, Diane, why? 832 00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:26,950 How could you do all these horrible things? 833 00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:29,554 Well, I suppose it all really began a year ago... 834 00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:31,950 when James Woods and I met at a press event... 835 00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:34,429 and began seeing each other. 836 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:43,753 We both valued our privacy... 837 00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,514 so we agreed to keep it a secret from the media. 838 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,796 Everything in my life was wonderful. 839 00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,748 But then a few months ago, I turned 40. 840 00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:59,831 ALL: Surprise! 841 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,592 It was hard for me to begin with... 842 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:04,035 but it got worse when, not so coincidentally... 843 00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:07,033 Tom began pushing Channel Five News to replace me... 844 00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:10,510 with a fresh, young face. And he succeeded. 845 00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:14,038 Three weeks from now, I'll be off the air. 846 00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,917 Well, apparently, all men think the same way... 847 00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:21,436 because around the same time, James dumped me. 848 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,868 I watched my career and my love life crumble... 849 00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:28,634 and I wasn't gonna just stand by and take it. 850 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,597 That's when I had the good fortune... 851 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,069 to meet a young news intern named Priscilla. 852 00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:35,390 She was so anxious to get into reporting... 853 00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,597 and would have done anything to get on my good side. 854 00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:40,273 So I seized the moment. 855 00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,192 I paid her off to seduce James Woods... 856 00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:46,035 and reel him into a relationship like a fish on a line. 857 00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:48,350 I knew a hot, young woman like Priscilla... 858 00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,239 could manipulate him into doing anything I wanted. 859 00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,870 At my direction, she persuaded him to become a born-again Christian... 860 00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:59,318 and instilled him with the drive to bring together all the people he'd wronged. 861 00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,199 That's how this weekend came to pass. 862 00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,238 Of course, Priscilla knew nothing of my real intentions... 863 00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,870 but she played the part beautifully, nonetheless. 864 00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:12,077 There's no way she could've known I planned to kill James Woods... 865 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,514 and frame Tom Tucker... 866 00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:18,117 thereby destroying the two people who cast me aside and ruined my life. 867 00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,157 Oh, my God. 868 00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,471 - You're 40? - Yes. I'm 40. 869 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:25,710 But then why did you kill the others? 870 00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:28,189 It was all supposed to go so smoothly. 871 00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:29,554 The hidden gun goes off... 872 00:49:29,720 --> 00:49:32,154 kills James Woods, and at the first opportunity... 873 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,039 I retrieve the gun and plant it in Tom's bag. 874 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,270 James Woods is dead, Tom goes to prison. 875 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:38,759 Nice and easy. 876 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:40,997 But Stephanie got in the way. 877 00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:43,230 She was in James' chair at the wrong time. 878 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,914 And when I realized my mistake, I had to improvise. 879 00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,514 The power outage provided a perfect cover. 880 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:52,719 I grabbed the knife off the dinner table and stabbed him. 881 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,189 But as Joe pointed out, there were fingerprints. 882 00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:56,793 I couldn't just leave it there. 883 00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,190 So when Tom and I got separated in the gallery... 884 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,828 I went back into the dining room and got the knife. 885 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,117 At that moment, Priscilla regained consciousness after fainting. 886 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,999 She started to become hysterical. 887 00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:11,630 I couldn't risk her revealing that I had engineered this whole gathering... 888 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,189 so I killed her. And I hid her in Tom's room. 889 00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,670 I tried to plant the knife in Tom's suitcase... 890 00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,991 but at that moment, Muriel walked in and caught me in the act. 891 00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:23,232 It wasn't her fault, poor thing, but she had to die. 892 00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,675 I stabbed her and she screamed. 893 00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:28,912 I had to leave the knife because I couldn't hide it on my person... 894 00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,036 with everyone quickly closing in. 895 00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,714 So I wiped off the fingerprints and ran. 896 00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,955 I slipped in with the rest of the group, when they all converged on the scene. 897 00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,793 I needed more time to finish my work framing Tom. 898 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,599 But that's when Derek went out to the balcony. 899 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:47,116 I couldn't let him contact the police before everything was in place. 900 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,794 So I had to kill him too. When Peter was yelling... 901 00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,793 about that picture of Derek holding the Hollywood sign... 902 00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,793 I grabbed the Golden Globe and slipped out. 903 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:59,635 I followed Derek outside and did what I had to do. 904 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,954 I barely had time to plant the Globe in Tom's room... 905 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:07,317 and run back downstairs where I took advantage of the commotion... 906 00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,836 and joined the crowd as they were all running outside. 907 00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,990 And the rest, well, you did all the rest for me. 908 00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:18,436 You turned on Tom exactly as I planned. 909 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,948 - So there it is, Lois. - My God. 910 00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,509 But wait, there's one thing unaccounted for. 911 00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,557 What happened to Stephanie's body? 912 00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:29,756 Actually, that's the one thing I don't know. 913 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:33,553 Damn it! 914 00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:37,310 Well, now you know everything, Lois. 915 00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:39,948 Which, of course, means I have to kill you. 916 00:51:44,720 --> 00:51:47,359 Lois, you coming? I can't play my tapes without the key. 917 00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:51,798 Actually, Lois and I were just about to go for a quick walk, weren't we, Lois? 918 00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:54,918 - We've been getting better acquainted. - Just give me the key. 919 00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:57,150 All right, Peter, I'll get it. 920 00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,356 Don't put a gun in my back. 921 00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,397 I'm not. I'm just asking for the key. 922 00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:03,312 [THINKING] Peter, we've been married 20 years. 923 00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,836 Please recognize when I'm acting out of the ordinary because I'm in danger. 924 00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:10,231 Here you go. Here's the key, Pete. 925 00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:11,833 [THINKING] Why's she calling me Pete? 926 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,991 We been married 14 years. She never called me Pete. 927 00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:17,277 Why figure this out when I could listen to my tapes in the car? 928 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:18,998 Bye. 929 00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,631 Shall we? 930 00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:56,669 Well, it's a shame that you have to die, Lois... 931 00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:58,353 but look on the bright side. 932 00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,080 You'll be a story on the 6:00 news. 933 00:53:01,240 --> 00:53:03,674 You know, unless a local cat does something funny. 934 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,229 Diane, please. Please, don't do this. 935 00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:08,550 I won't tell anybody, I swear to God. 936 00:53:08,720 --> 00:53:11,154 That's right. You won't. 937 00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:13,629 Goodbye, Lois. 938 00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:18,837 [GUNSHOT] 939 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:25,679 [GASPING] 940 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,632 [SCREAMS] 941 00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:41,792 LOIS: Hello? 942 00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:46,558 Is anyone there? 943 00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,879 Whoever you are, thank you. 944 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:06,111 If anybody's gonna take that bitch down, it's gonna be me. 945 00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:16,234 [ORCHESTRAL "FAMILY GUY" THEME PLAYING] 946 00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:23,509 [English - US - SDH]